Wendy Grolnick and Kathy Seal, Pressured Parents, Stressed-Out Kids, New York: Prometheus Books, 2008, 127-8
To encourage intrinsic motivation and internalization, you can pay attention to:
- Granting your child autonomy. Autonomy lets him feel like he initiates his own actions and solves his own problems, rather than feeling pressured or compelled by someone else.
- Giving your child support through your involvement. A parent who affords his child his time and other resources fosters feelings of connection.
- Giving your child structure. Structure means the guidelines and information, rules and consequences that a child needs to act in the world. By showing her the effect of her actions and providing the tools she needs, structure gives her a feeling of competence.